To save the future you will need the following
by CoffeeN7
Summary: Aeryn Sheppard's story, following the plot of ME2. Sheppard makes preparations for ME3. Let the real fight begin. Rated M for later chapters
1. Chapter 1

**1. Bad Dreams**

She breathed out a slowly, opening her eyes to take in the view. The breeze picked up slightly moving the vegetation around her, their bright greens and reds dancing in the bright sunlight, each looking like it was waving to the sun. She closed her eyes again, data pad resting on her chest. In the distance the sound of children playing could be heard, laughter and screaming as a competitive game of tag took place. She smiled to herself nestling back further into her chair. Sleep threatened to take its hold and for a brief moment she almost fought it. Opening her eyes a realization dawned on her, there would be no more fighting of any kind..."_Well not right now anyway_"...and as quickly as the thought had occurred to her it was gone. Beaten back by the relentless waves of tiredness, sleep finally taking its hold.

A child screaming pulled her mind back from the realm of dreams...slightly drowsy she rolled her head over "_I wish they'd play tag elsewhere_"...another scream filled her mind, but this was an adult...a women's terrified shirking. She staggered forward out of the chair forcing my eyes to adjust to to the new scene that appeared before her. Off in the distance gunfire could be heard, people were running towards her. She grabbed the first person she could and spun them round

"**what's happening...what's going on**" her voice was a little sterner then she'd intended. The young man just looked at her, eyes wide with fear...a fear she had never seen before

"**Its batairians...their...attaaaa**!" his sentence was cut short, a high intensity round penetrated the back of his skull bursting through the front, spraying blood over her face...the whites of his lifeless eyes running red as he dropped to both knees before slumping to the ground, blood pooling around them both.

She looked at the hole where his forehead used to be, blood and other internal parts oozing out, turning her hands she saw yet more blood. Dropping her hands to wipe them at her sides she looked up again, too many thoughts in her head screaming for her sole attention. Forcing her body to move she concentrated on the one thought she had been trained to respond too, turning she heading for her room, vaulting over the chair that had promised so much in the way of relaxation. Reaching the main reception area she turned a sharp left and ran down a long corridor to her room, punching in her code she flung herself through, the grace and poise that she would often display forgotten. She scrambled to her bedstead and pulled out her pistol. Checking the thermal clip was secure she turned to leave again. She was kicking herself for not brining her rifle and armor "**Stupid**" she hissed angrily. Returning to the main reception and looking out so where she had been minutes before confirmed the reports of the man whose blood still splattered her face, the gunfire was closer, could be seen now, and a few more bodies lay scattered on the ground. The slaughter had begun.

Sheppard woke to find herself in her usual place, under her desk with her pistol in hand, she was panting, beads of liquid trickling down her face. She sat there a while longer, trying to escape the visions in her mind, she had been branded a hero for what had happened at Elysium. A hero for helping steam a wave of batarins trying to deal a crippling blow to the alliance. "**I'm no hero, I'm a bloody coward**" she said to herself, just above a whisper.

Her attention was pulled back to the present when she heard a murmur from her bed, holding her breathe she tensed her muscles. Trying now to move or bring any attention towards her she closed her eyes again mouthing a silent prayer

Liara rolled over, the feeling of warmth sorely missed, she opened her eyes to scan the bed then sat up when Sheppard could not be seen

"**Aeryn**..." she looked around again, sliding out of bed and heading for the bathroom she peaked her head around the door. Confusion setting in she turned to face the office

"**EDI, please locate Commander Sheppard**" she asked

"**Good Morning Dr T'Soni, Commander Sheppard is currently located under her desk in her private quarters**" EDI stated matter of faculty.

Moving to the desk Liara bent down to reveal a crouching Sheppard, pistol in hand and eyes closed.

"**Will their be anything else Dr T'Soni**" EDI said

" **No, thank you EDI**" Liara rushed out "**Goddess Sheppard, what's going on**" she said, her voice laced with concern.

"**N..Nothing, really, I'm fine...its just a stupid earth custom**" she lied as she scrambled to her feet placing the pistol on the desk.. "**I need to see the Doc..nothing for you to worry about**" and with that she turned to leave, leaving a stunned Liara in her wake. Liara sat at the desk looking at the pistol "_Something is wrong_" she thought staring at the little back box she had forgotten to give to Sheppard the night before, hightend passions getting the better of them "_she left in her night ware_"


	2. Chapter 2

_I know its a little late for this, but reviews would be great, first time i've done this, and comments or direction pointers also welcome _

**What's past is past**

Sheppard moved out of the elevator and headed for Dr Chakwas's office, ignoring the looks she was getting from her crew in the mess, up already for the days events. Sheppard remembered when she had last addressed this crew the Illusive man had gathered for her. It was here in the mess. She remembered how she had congratulated them on a huge team effort, how stopping the Collectors on their home turf was a big middle finger up to the Reapers. She had told them that they were no longer flying the Cerberus's colours. They would be returning to Alliance space and if anyone wanted to leave now would be the time. When no one moved she looked down and smiled, Liara grabbing her hand for a reassuring squeeze. Expecting Aeryn to remove her hand Liara had been pleasantly surprised. "**I let go of this once**" she has said in a low voice "**that's when I lost you, I don't plan on ever letting go again**". She caught the look of pure happiness Liara had shown her and Briefly returned it. She loved the asari with all her heart, she had fought through hell and back against the Shadow Broker for her, to help her find her release she longed for. With the Broker gone and the Collectors dealt with Liara had jumped at the chance to rejoin Sheppard. She had wanted to be their when they went after the Collectors but Sheppard had refused. Insisting if they failed EDI had instructions to send all data they had about the Collectors and Reapers to her, so she could continue the fight. Liara could see the logic, but hated it all the same. She had obeyed Sheppard then without fighting, she sensed the strength it was taking her, knowing this might be the last time they would see each other again. Both had experienced this in the past, neither wanted a repeat performance. Liara had made Sheppard make a promise that night, a promise to come back. She had made it without hesitation, giving Liara a small black box with instructions to give it back to her unopened when she returned. Liara had found this must strange, but agreed. Taking the box and leaving for the Shadow Brokers lair.

The door hissed open as she walked in, a smiling Dr Chakwas greeting her

"**Good morning Commander, you ne...**" she was cut off as Sheppard turned to EDI's terminal

"**EDI seal the door, don't let anyone in, and make sure Miranda's cameras and listening bugs are blocked, nothing leaves this room**" she ordered.

"**Understood Commander**" the AI replied.

Facing Dr Chakwas again she faltered over her words, catching sight of the raised eye brows of the doctor "what" she said, annoyance creeping into her tone.

The doctor sighed "**Well, whatever you want to see me about must be important, your still in your pj's**" she chuckled slightly as she picked up her datapad and closed the distance between them. Sheppard looked down and frowned. She was in such a hurry to run from Liara before she could pry the truth from her that she had not even thought about changing. Shaking her head she sighed

"**Doc, its happening again, you know**" she creased her forehead and lowered her brow "t**he sleepwalking**"

Dr Chakwas smiled a sympathic smile. "**Well commander, its really no wonder, what with all you've been through the last few months I was surprised it had not started before now. I take it you've stopped talking to the yeoman about your dreams.**"

Sheppard nodded "**All I need are a few tranquilizers, a few nights deep sleep and I know I can ****beat them**" She jumped up on the medical bed and leaned back resting her hands behind her. "**I have so many things to be happy for now, well, at least for a small while, till we reach alliance space anyway. Why do you think they would start now, and not weeks ago**" She looked pleadingly at the doctor

"**Well, in my professional opinion I would have to say we need tests to know for sure, but as your friend, I think that your trying to hide a part of yourself away, a part of you that's forcing you to relive what's happened to you. Your subconscious is trying to connect to you, tell you its of to feel what you feel, maybe even force you to be honest with yourself**" she continued to look at her datapad as she finished her diagnosis.

"**You think my subconscious is making me hide under my desk with my pistol because I'm not being honest with myself. C'mon doc, that's a little far fetched even for you**" Sheppard snorted in amusement.

"**Commander you forget, your subconscious has been touched by another, quite literally. You and Liara share a special bond, maybe your subconscious wants you to be honest with her. Although it would take a lot of conscious thinking about her to allow your subconscious to latch on. Have you been talking with Liara about your relationship**" Chakwas asked,

"t**hat's just it doc, we have uh...barely said to words to each other**" she shifted uncomfortable "**we've been rather busy we other uh...other means of communicating**" a slight red tinge was taking hold of Sheppard's cheeks

"**I see, well that may have a little to do with it, anything else**" she looked up smiling

"**Well, I was going to ask her something, a personal question, you know, the whole we may never get a chance after so lets jump now, marry me etc etc... but I haven't got round to asking it yet**" Sheppard sighed

"**Marriage commander, well congratulations, but I think I'm seeing a pattern slowly forming here**." the doctor took a seat next to Sheppard " I** think that this question of marriage has your subconscious trying to reach out the Liara, it's trying to let her see the real you, the human you. The women you are, what made you. To show your vunruable side to her when you hide it from even yourself shows great trust. What happened on Elysium was awful, I don't doubt that. I saw the pictures in the reports, it was gruesome, and you alone closed off your emotions that day, closed off who you were to deal with the threat at hand...you've never really talked about it. And before you start**" she noticed Sheppard try to respond "**I know why you don't open up, I don't agree but I know why. But trust me commander, your sleepwalking will only get worse if you ignore this. If she loves you she will understand**" Chakwas jumped down from the bed and crossed the medical bay " **In the meantime I suggest you at least inform EDI about your sleepwalking, she will be able to alert me or Miranda if you disappear for a midnight walk**". She sat at her terminal and brought up Sheppard's medical file, adding the latest developments.

A little disheartened at a lack of tranquilizers Sheppard walked towards the exit, waving at the door for EDI to release. Ignoring the now larger crowd of Grassus, Tali and Miranda outside the door she retreated to the elevator and headed back to her quarters to get dressed.


	3. Chapter 3

**3. Confession**

Miranda looked to Garrus and Tali with eye brows raised. Not waiting for a response she hurried into the medical bay. Dr Chakwas was still at her terminal

"**Ah, Miranda, how can I he...**" she was again cut off

"**What's wrong with Sheppard, is it something I need to know**"

"**Will someone let me finish before they interrupt**" she sighed "**just once, everything is fine, and you know that it's all I can tell you anyway. Patient confidentiality**." she relaxed back into her chair folding her hands in her lap. "**Appears we can take the girl out of Cerberus, but not the Cerberus out of the girl hey**". She chuckled softy

Looking both annoyed and amused at the same time, making her just look like she smelt something she didn't like she relaxed her features

"**Old habits die hard, I guess I'm just concerned that's all. We haven't stopped since we left collector space and we're heading straight for alliance space to face god knows what...I just figured that Sheppard might need a breather that's all**." She turned to leave, "**I'll leave you to work doctor**"

She walked out giving Tali and Garrus a reassuring smile and nod before heading for her office. Both just looked at each other and frowned. Heading back to their workstations.

Sheppard had reached her quarters and entered as Liara was finishing a message to Feron. She looked up and immediately made a move towards Sheppard. She stood between the door and the commander with her hands on her hips.

"**Areyn Sheppard, what's going on**" she tired her upmost to sound as Sheppard did when she adopted her business voice, but she was simply too worried to care how she sounded, as long as she got an answer.

Sheppard flinched at the mention of her full name, it always reminded her of her mother. She turned slowly, throwing up her hands in the air.

"**Nothing hun, It's just a little problem I have when I'm a little stressed**" she sat on the sofa and gestured for Liara to join her. Liara sat down and took Sheppard's hands in hers

"**Please, no more secrets**" she put her forehead to Sheppard's and sighed

"**Ok...ok...**" not breaking the contact , both staring at their intertwined hands Sheppard slowly started to explain

"**I sleepwalk, its not a big deal in itself, but because of...because of the things I did, the things I saw on Elysium my sleepwalking gets a little more active. I always wake up with a gun in my hand...I guess I makes me feel safe**". She shifted uncomfortably.

Liara's mind began to pull, knowing that this was barely touching the surface. Sheppard started again, her voice lower, faint sounds of a struggle raging deep within her

"**That box I gave you before I left for the collectors, its a earth custom, inside is a ring, that ring was going to be used to declare to everyone that we were more then just lovers, that we were equals, together always, united as one, like an asari bonding rite**". She stopped again waiting to hear Liara's response. Liara's hitched breath was released

"**I wondered what the box was, wait...going to be used**" panic creeping into her tone " **You no longer wish to be with me**" her grip on the commanders hand tightened

"**God no that's not what I'm saying...I love you, but I'm no worthy of you, I'm a coward...i don't deserve to be that happy, my sleepwalking has started again because its my punishment, for what happened on Elyisum. You deserve so much more then me...if you ever know what happened you...you'd hate me**" Tears were beginning to well up in Sheppard's eyes...she pulled her hands away and stood, turing away from Liara.

"**I'm a monster, nothing I ever do will atone for what I did back then. I don't deserve to live, sometimes I look at you and think it would have been better if you had left me for dead**"

Liara felt the rush of anger fill her "**How dare you...how dare you think this way...you really believe I would be better without you...**" Sheppard was not prepared for that response and was shocked when two firm hands grabbed her roughly by the shoulders and shook her "**I am nothing without you, I don't care what you may have done in the past, its made you who you are today, that's all that should matter now. I know you still grieve for every loss under your command, but believe me, your no monster**" She released her grip on Sheppard, grabbing her into a tight embrace.

They made there way to the bed and lowered themselves down. They stayed there wrapped up in each other for what seamed like forever. Liara running her hand through Sheppard's hair a way a mother would to her child when trying to comfort them.

"I** want to show you Liara, but I'm scared, I don't want to go back there**"

"**Shhh, you take your time, in the meantime I'm setting up EDI so we can monitor your sleep, she can alert me if you sleepwalk, but we don't have to worry about that until tonight, now we can just concentrate on other things, why don't you tell me more about this earth custom, why a ring?**"

Liara listened as Sheppard began to explain the process of marriage. The bond she unusually felt with Sheppard's mind had grown that bit stronger after the confession, Sheppard had at last started to open up.


	4. Chapter 4

**4. Playing it safe**

Once she felt Sheppard had calmed down she gestured for them to get up, getting to a seated position she went to stand only to find a strong hand pull her back down

"**And where do you think your going**" Sheppard purred "**You pulled rank on me before, if I were any kind of commander I should have you punished**."

Liara smirked "**well commander, I never meant to overstep my mark...for this**" she leans in close to Sheppard's ear and slowly whispers "**I apologize**".

The sensation of hot breathe on Sheppard's ear caused a ripple down her spine ending at her now curled toes. She reached to place her hand at the small of Liara's back, gently applying pressure. Liara gasped and arched her back, taking her hand and placing it behind Sheppard's neck,she leant in and placed a kiss to her neck.

"**Commander, Miranda has requested that you visit her in her office as soon as you are available**" EDI's synthetic voice filled the room.

Sheppard's frame sagged slightly then looked up with a small smile "**Guess this will have to wait, thanks again Liara, for everything, we'll talk later ok**" she reluctenly let the asari go and headed foe the door.

Miranda was typing up a report of the last few days, she had no where to send it since her departure from Cerberus but as the Doctor had pointed out, out habits die hard. She merely glanced up as Sheppard entered the room

"**Shepard, I'm glad you came, I noticed that EDI had blocked all communication to the med bay before and was wondering it everything was ok, I mean if its going to effect the way the ship runs or the crew I think I should know**" She leant back in her chair, hands fled in her lap.

"**I'm fine, really** " Shepard saw the look of Miranda's face " **Really, its just a little problem with sleeping, that's all**" Sheppard sat down in her usual chair and looked out into the vacuum of space

Miranda started to key something into her computer, "Y**our sleeping walking, I had hoped that this would not manifest itself again, but it's not entirely unexpected either, you should really talk to the yeoman about this**" she stopped abruptly after catching a glance of the commanders burning red features

"**you...you know...about**" she almost stuttered...looking out to space again, trying to calm herself

"**Well Sheppard, I did spend 2 years putting you back together piece by piece, I had access to all your medical files, I cant say I know why you have them, but they are a part of you, well at least the sleep walking is a result of a part of your history you seam unable to control consciously. Had I made any attempt to block that part, well, you wouldn't be commander Sheppard. IM sorry, but be it good or bad, its a part of what made you who you are today, humanity needed that**" she stood up and took the seat opposite Sheppard. She looked to Sheppard then followed her gaze to the window

"**I need to and EDI to keep an eye on me**" she refused to look anywhere but the window " **I wouldn't ask, but I said to Liara I would, and she's been through enough. Sometimes I go further then my room, if that happens just make sure I don't do anything stupid, wake me if ****you can...**." Sheppard stood, turning her back to the other women. " **I'm fine, this is just a precaution**"

Miranda's nodded, not quite believing Sheppard, but knowing the consequences of crossing her. She returned to her console and continued with her report.

Sheppard left the room crossing the distance between Miranda's office and the elevator.

"**EDI, I'll assume you heard what was discussed in Miranda's office?**" She paused while turning to input her destination in the elevator key pad

"**Yes commander**" EDI replied

"**Well, I would like you to alert Miranda and the Doctor if I exit my quarters while sleep walking...you can tell the difference cant you?**"a small smirk crept on to Sheppard's face despite herself

"**Sheppard, I am I highly sophisticated AI, I can process information before you have even had a chance to finish hearing it, I think I can confirm the difference between your brain wave activity while asleep and awake**"

Sheppard held up her hands in a defensively manner " **Just checking there, no need to go all superior on my ass...thanks**". She keyed in her destination, waited for the doors to close then began to shift her weight form one foot to the next. She felt nervous, cold, it felt unnatural. She had blocked out Elysium long ago...why was it back now.


	5. Chapter 5

5. **Active dreaming**

Sheppard continued her daily routine. She made a visit to each section of the ship, chatted with most of the crew and collected all reports form each section. It was a rouge ship, but she still like to keep it in order. She spoken to all her team mates during the day, all had shown some form of concern over her visit to the Doctor, word had traveled it appeared, but she assured everyone it was fine and there was nothing to worry about.

The afternoon was filled with endless report reading, they all needed signing off. Engine repairs, hull inspections, the list seamed endless. It was late evening before she found herself rubbing her eyes trying to focus. Pushing the ;last few data pads away she stood and head for her music console, she hit play and wondered towards the bathroom, an old earth rock could now be heard as she jumped into the shower. She closed her eyes and allowed the water to re energize her. She didn't hear the door open as Liara walked in.

Liara steeped in and instantly recognized the music playing, knowing Sheppard only played this old earth music when she was wound up and needed to relax. "**Well, I can help with that**" she spoke to herself. She moved towards the bed, stripping down to nothing, the blue curves of her hips swinging as she walked around the bed, lifted the sheet and slipped underneath. She propped her head up with her hand and rolled her legs and hips over until she was in her usual seductive position. She looked towards the bathroom and waited, listening to the music.

Sheppard turned the show off and shook out her hair, rubbing to dry it. She slid the towel around her and walked out into the main living area, not noticing Liara in bed she continued to dry off

"**Ah-hum**" Liara coughed loudly. Sheppard spinning on the spot froze when she caught sight of the blue asari in their bed. She hit the stop button on the console and cleared her throat.

"**Liara...I...I...what was I saying**" she continued to stare, almost galling the spectacle in front of her. Liara merely smiled. She remembered how Sheppard was the first time they were together, having admitted herself she had never been with anyone before Sheppard had admitted she had very little experience herself.

"**I believe you were about two tell me how you were coming to bed to, how do you humans put it, have your wicked way with me**" she all but purred the last part. She patted the space on the bed next to her and Sheppard obeyed. She removed her towel and slid under the covers. She leaned in closer and began to kiss Liara's neck, making her way up and down its length. Her hands began to move across her breast's, finding the now erect nipples. Liara gasped as she pulled Sheppard closer still, her hands running down Sheppard's back, finding the scars tracing them. She rolled the pair over and straddled her hips. Arching her back pushing her breast's out in front of Sheppard's view she took Sheppard's hands in hers and placed them on her hips. She leant down and kissed her on the lips, slow at first, savoring the contact, but Sheppard's longing for more overtook and she plunged her tongue into Liara's mouth. Both moaning and grinding they began to allow their hands to explore. Sheppard's found the outside of Liara's thigh. She traced a finger along it, working its way to her more sensitive areas. She paused briefly hovering over the gateway to Liara's pleasure.

"**I need you**" Sheppard forced out, unable to contain her passion.

"**I know**" Liara hurriedly replied.

The next several hours wore them both out. Melding more then once...reaching into each others souls. Liara came across the same locked door in Sheppard's mind, but not wanting to ruin the pleasure they were sharing did not force it open. While they both lay there, Sheppard fast asleep she reminded herself. "_She said she would tell me when she was ready_". She got up ad looked back checking she had not woken Sheppard up. Walking to the terminal at the desk she began flicking through some reports she had received from the agents working for the shadow broker.

Back in bed Sheppard was dreaming.

Looking around she could see nothing but smoke, the fires were breaking out everywhere. The screaming was intensifying. Running too the terminal at main reception she checked to see if communications were still up "**Damn**" Sheppard growled, they had been blocked. Turning she could see people making there way to the resort reception. Moving towards them she began thinking of her next step. She checked her gun again, head spinning from all the screams and smoke. She raised her gun at the sound of footsteps behind her

"**Whoa, easy there solider...we're on the same side**" a well built man in alliance ship uniform appeared.

Sheppard lowered her gun, turning her head back to the devastation, the burning buildings, the charred bodies and the grey skies. "**I don't know what to do...I...I cant think**" she stuttered. More survivors had rushed through the doors, bloody and confused.

"**Right**" the alliance solider shouted "T**hey wanna take us, kill us, wipe out our existence...we cant let um...we got civilians in this building that need your help...I'm taking charge, everyone on me"**

Liara looked over as she heard Sheppard start murmuring in hr sleep, then watched as she began to sit up, her eyes still closed.


End file.
